Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life

If you've ever wondered whether you're doing enough to help your child feel good about themselves, Dr. Lisa Damour has curated her most essential guidance on confidence, self-esteem & self-compassion into one episode for you.

This encore “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation offers a research-backed roadmap for raising kids with a solid sense of self-worth — and for parents who want to model that from the inside out. This episode also features conversations with three leading experts: Dr. Tovah Klein, Dr. Sue Varma, and Dr. Traci Baxley.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why kids' confidence naturally dips at predictable points in development, and why those wobbles are not a sign that you've failed

- Why self-esteem needs many "tributaries", and why kids who rely on a single source of self-worth are most vulnerable when that tributary runs dry

- How confidence is built through doing hard things and being someone who can be counted on (and how to help kids get there without being pushed)

- Why what you say about yourself in front of your kids shapes their inner voice more than almost anything you say directly to them

- How tending to your own sense of worth will help you support your child's

Your child is taking cues from how you talk to yourself, care for yourself, and recover from setbacks. This episode helps you put those cues to good use.

________________ GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠

________________



Today's sponsors:

Jones Road Beauty:  Use the code ASKLISA for a free full sized Mascara with your first purchase at ⁠https://www.jonesroadbeauty.com⁠.

Rocket Money: Join at https://www/RocketMoney.com/ASKLISA

Simple Practice: Sign up for a free 7-day trial, and get 50% off your first three months at https://www.simplepractice.com.

Masterclass: Get 15% off any annual membership at https://www.masterclass.com/ASKLISA

________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



________________



Episode keywords: teen self-esteem, tween confidence, how to build confidence in kids, child low self-esteem, negative self-talk kids, middle school confidence, self-worth teenagers, how to raise confident kids, puberty self-esteem, parenting anxious kids, teen body image, raising resilient kids, self-compassion kids, kids negative self-talk, building confidence girls, teenage boys self-esteem, helping shy kids, perfectionism kids



Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The college admissions process doesn't have to consume your family. If it already feels that way, this episode is exactly what you need.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with Rick Clark, higher education leader, co-author of “The Truth About College Admission: A Family Guide to Getting In and Staying Together,” and a career insider in college admissions at Georgia Tech. Rick has spent years helping families cut through the noise, anxiety, and mythology of the admissions process, and his perspective is grounding and genuinely reassuring. 

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why there is no magic formula for college admissions, and why that's actually good news for your teen

- What a strong college essay actually looks like — and the one mistake that sinks more applications than any other

- How to structure college conversations so they don't bleed into every carpool and dinner, protecting your relationship and your sanity through the process

- Why "test optional" means something different at every school, and how to use net price calculators to get a realistic picture of what college will actually cost

- Why you should be talking to parents of current college students, not parents of other applicants — and what a difference that shift makes

The college admissions process can be stressful, but it doesn't have to take all of the joy out of family life.

________________

 GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠

________________



Today's sponsors:

Cash App: For a limited time, new Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use code: FAMILY10.

Momentous: Get up to 35% off your first order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠https://www.livemomentous.com⁠

Unwaffle: Use the promo code ASK LISA to get 15% off your first order at https://www.eatunwaffle.com.

Warby Parker: Buy one prescription pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional prescription pairs at ⁠https://www.WarbyParker.com/ASKLISA ⁠⁠



________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



________________



Episode keywords: college admissions process parents, when to start college planning kids, college application stress parents, how to help teen with college applications, what colleges look for admissions, college essay tips high school, test optional colleges explained, should my teen take SAT or ACT, how to stand out college application, college admissions myths parents, how competitive is college admission today, paying for college financial aid tips, FAFSA explained parents, athletic scholarships reality high school, college admissions anxiety teens parents



Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you've repeatedly asked your kid to help out and they still don’t follow through, this is the episode you’ve been waiting for.

Dr. Lisa Damour breaks down why nagging doesn't build a work ethic — and what actually does. From linking privileges to responsibilities, to knowing exactly when to step back and let natural consequences do the teaching, this encore episode gives parents of tweens and teens a practical, guilt-free framework for raising kids who can be counted on, without turning every chore or assignment into a battle.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why structure matters more than warmth alone, and why holding the line on chores, even when kids are grumpy, is the right call

- Why extrinsic motivation is perfectly valid, and how linking responsibilities to privileges mirrors the way the real world actually works

- Why "complain but comply" is a completely reasonable goal, and how releasing the expectation of cheerful enthusiasm takes pressure off everyone

- When to stop nagging about schoolwork and let natural consequences take over, and why middle school is the best time to do so

- How framing chores as a contribution rather than punishment taps into something deeper than rewards alone

________________

 GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠

________________



Today's sponsors:

Caraway: 10% off your next order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠https://www.carawayhome.com/asklisa⁠

Hero: Use promo code ASKLISA for 10% off your order at https://www.hero.co.

OneSkin: Use the code ASKLISA for 15% off your next purchase at ⁠https://www.oneskin.co/ASKLISA⁠.

Skylight: Get $30 off your 15-inch calendar at www://www.MySkylight.com/ASKLISA

________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



________________



Episode keywords: how to build work ethic in kids, unmotivated child chores, kid refuses chores what to do, tween lacks motivation school, intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation kids, how to get kids to help at home, child won’t do homework without nagging, parenting middle school motivation, consequences vs nagging parenting, link chores to privileges kids, teach responsibility tweens, why kids don’t take initiative, 11 year old lazy or normal, complain but comply parenting, structure vs warmth parenting



Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know screens and social media can be risky for your kid. But do you know exactly what harm looks like… and what actually protects them from it?

Dr. Lisa Damour revisits her conversation with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, pioneering pediatrician, author, and California's first Surgeon General, recorded live at the Common Sense Summit on Kids and Families. A globally recognized expert on Adverse Childhood Experiences and toxic stress, Dr. Burke Harris has spent her career studying what harms children and what heals them. Her answer to the screen time crisis might surprise you: the most powerful protection isn't stricter screen time rules; it's your relationship with your child.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why a strong, connected relationship with a caregiver is the single most powerful buffer against the harms of toxic online content and manipulative algorithms

- How to invite your kid to share disturbing things they've seen online (and the specific language that keeps that door open)

- Why teaching kids to see the manipulation behind the content, not just the content itself, builds real, lasting resistance to toxic content

- How to tie phone and social media access to developmental readiness, not just age — including how a digital citizenship contract works in practice

- The two questions that help teens reflect on whether they're choosing their content or their content is choosing them

________________



 GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠



________________



Today's sponsors:

Shopify: Sign up for your free trial today at ⁠https://www.shopify.com/asklisa⁠

Goodr: Get $10 off your first order at https://www.goodr.com/ASKLISA

Understood: Check out Everyone Gets a Juice Box wherever you listen to podcasts.

________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



________________



Episode keywords: nadine burke harris, toxic stress in kids, adverse childhood experiences, ACEs parenting, kids and online content, teen smartphone rules, when to give child a phone, phone contract for teens, teen social media harm, kids seeing disturbing content online, boys and body image social media, teen appearance pressure, AI risks for kids, algorithm manipulation teens, teen screen time rules, buffering caregiving



Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your kid comes home devastated after being left out, dropped, or caught in the middle of a friendship blowup. You may want to help, but don’t know what to say—or whether you should step in at all. Take heart: this episode will help you navigate the situation with confidence.

In this encore “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation, Dr. Lisa Damour has curated her most essential guidance on friendship conflict, bullying, and social drama — the stuff that can make the tween and teen years so painful for kids and so hard to watch as a parent. Whether your child is being targeted by peers, doing the excluding, or trying to navigate a friendship that's run its course, you'll walk away knowing exactly what to say and how to help them through it with calm, clarity, and compassion.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- The crucial difference between bullying and conflict, and why getting this distinction right will change how you respond

- Why middle schoolers are so prone to cruelty, and how anxiety about belonging makes meanness a fast track to social power

- How excluding, icing out, and rumor-spreading work as a form of relational aggression — and why kids sometimes gang up to push someone out

- Why social behaviors that used to peak in 7th and 8th grade are now showing up in 9th and 10th grade, and what the pandemic has to do with it

- What to actually say to your kid when they've been left out or dropped, including how to offer a sense of perspective without dismissing how awful it feels

Social challenges are some of the most painful experiences of adolescence. But there’s a lot you can do to help.

________________GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠



________________



Today's sponsors:

Jones Road Beauty:  Use the code ASKLISA for a free full sized Mascara with your first purchase at ⁠https://www.jonesroadbeauty.com⁠.

LMNT: Receive a free 8-count Sample Pack of LMNT's most popular drink mix flavors with any purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/asklisa.

Rocket Money: Join at https://www/RocketMoney.com/ASKLISA

Simple Practice: Sign up for a free 7-day trial, and get 50% off your first three months at https://www.simplepractice.com.

________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



________________



Episode keywords: friend group dumped, kids friendship breakup, middle school social drama, tween friend problems, teen friend group conflict, child excluded by friends, iced out friend group, middle school bullying, relational aggression kids, how to help child with friend drama, friendship breakup tween, kids mean friends, middle school cliques, how to drop a friend, tween friendship problems, tween social drama, middle school friend group, how to help excluded child



Podcast keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices